Here I sit, sunburned, covered in a residue of sweat and sunscreen, bruised and aching from a spin on the Cyclone and to top that off, I’ve got sand in places only a handful of people have had the privilege of viewing. This all means only one thing: I spent today at Coney Island. I [...]
Fartfest 2011
I can’t call Friday’s 2nd Annual Cheesemonger Invitational “Stinkfest” because that title already belongs to an event held by one of the festival’s competitors, Stinky BKLYN, so let’s just keep it real and call it what it really was: “Fartfest 2011.” Lady Levy, Ali G and I took the 7 train two stops out to [...]
Summertime and the eating’s easy
Summer couldn’t be a better time to have started on “the system.” There’s something about the notoriously hot and sticky Manhattan summers that curbs my appetite. The abounding humidity transforms me into a sweaty mess the second I leave my apartment. While I schlep through town with sweat dripping from my brow and clothes clinging [...]
More than a Mouthful
So it’s come to this: it’s 12:15 AM on Monday June 27th and I just ordered pizza. Why? Because nothing goes better than a DVR’d episode of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” than a greasy pizza pie or a heap of penne drenched in vodka sauce. While the two do pair together as seamlessly [...]
Keeping Up With the Kardashians…and the pace of that evil treadmill
For far too long I’ve criticized the Kardashians for not doing anything. Well, I’m going to have to credit Khloe and Kourtney for actually managing to do something worthy: They got me through my cardio, which is no easy feat. Training for the New York Marathon in the dead of New York summer means that [...]
It’s a Mcworld of Laughter, a Mcworld Full of Jeers
There really is a blog for everything: Check out burgerbusiness.com. So it looks like McDonald’s is capitalizing on the “recent trend” of cupcake madness in New York by running a cupcake special in Germany with four different cupcakes, each representing a different neighborhood in New York. I guess they didn’t get the memo, but cupcakes [...]
Best Ten Bucks I Ever Spent
Consider for a second that New York is Hell. Perhaps as punishment to having previously admitted my possible willingness to move to the Valley, the “concrete jungle where dreams are made of” has been engulfed with the most vicious cold the city has experienced since Bush was re-elected. Even in this wicked frigidity, life must [...]
Strange Days Have Found Me
What is it about being in L.A. that I just get my shit done? I know I’m technically on vacation and not working, but it’s not like I still don’t have obligations and some sort of regimented schedule while here. Yet, somehow I still manage to have excess free time, take proper care of myself, [...]
Christmas, Deconstructed
So here we are, Christmas in crystal-clear, 55 degrees Fahrenheit Los Angeles. You’re probably wondering how my people keep busy on this holiday in ways that don’t involve movies or Chinese food. Well, if you’re like my family, you hit up Chaya Venice for top-notch sushi and influential Pacific Rim cuisine. The salmon sushi I [...]
