Here I sit, sunburned, covered in a residue of sweat and sunscreen, bruised and aching from a spin on the Cyclone and to top that off, I’ve got sand in places only a handful of people have had the privilege of viewing. This all means only one thing: I spent today at Coney Island. I [...]
Fartfest 2011
I can’t call Friday’s 2nd Annual Cheesemonger Invitational “Stinkfest” because that title already belongs to an event held by one of the festival’s competitors, Stinky BKLYN, so let’s just keep it real and call it what it really was: “Fartfest 2011.” Lady Levy, Ali G and I took the 7 train two stops out to [...]
The Greatest Adventure
There’s nothing more American than a trip to the amusement park. With barely any history in this country, we’ve basically been forced to invent our culture as we’ve gone along, and whether you love ‘em or hate ‘em, these Godawful but simultaneously oh-so-wonderful destinations are a signature part of the American way of life. Only [...]
Best Ten Bucks I Ever Spent
Consider for a second that New York is Hell. Perhaps as punishment to having previously admitted my possible willingness to move to the Valley, the “concrete jungle where dreams are made of” has been engulfed with the most vicious cold the city has experienced since Bush was re-elected. Even in this wicked frigidity, life must [...]
A Round of Cheese
In honor of a recent birthday and promotion, it’s been a week full of cheese that’s driving me to Hell in a Bottega Veneta hand basket. And I’m not just talking about the Cravanzina, Pecorino and Coach Farm triple cream aged goat rounds I’ve had for lunch several times at work the past few days [...]
Summer’s Gone, My Turn to Wine
Why I just inhaled two pieces of pizza is beyond me. I’m not even mildly intoxicated. I’ve had only one glass of wine, a delicious Mendoza Malbec rose on a stomach of a Shake Shack chocolate-covered toffee-infused frozen custard. Forgive me for my moment of weakness, but it was the end of the work week [...]
